


it's a mad mad mad mad world

by ladyofdecember



Category: The Venture Bros
Genre: Alternate Universe, Calabassas, California, Commission fic, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, M/M, Rusty owns a nightclub, So Married, The Birdcage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 18:06:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16728309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyofdecember/pseuds/ladyofdecember
Summary: My take on the alternate!Rusty Venture we see in season four. Rusty wants nothing to do with science or his father's "legacy" but that doesn't stop weirdos from kidnapping him! A normal day turns into a nuisance.





	it's a mad mad mad mad world

**Author's Note:**

  * For [danvssomethingorother](https://archiveofourown.org/users/danvssomethingorother/gifts).



> This was a commission piece I did! If you'd like to commission me for a fic let me know! Tumblr is also ladyofdecember!

The morning light of the sun came shining in illuminated almost by the white fabric of their curtains. It made the bedroom seem like heaven, bright and full of warmth and happiness. 

Rolling over under the covers, the sound of sheets moving against skin, it was perfect the way they were, just like this. Neither man ready to wake up just yet, they were both entangled in each other's arms and bodies in that in between sleep and fully awake stage.

Rusty smiled against the younger man's neck, humming and pulling him closer, if that were even possible.

“Mornin'. “ Brock mumbled, voice gravelly from a night of sleep.

Rusty pressed a yawn into his brawny and hard-bodied chest before replying. “Yes it is... “

He maneuvered himself up onto his elbow to sit up slightly and take in the view of the man a bit better. His eyes carried a loving and pleased look to them, one that matched the bodyguard's own when he finally opened his eyes to peer back at him.

“What did I do to be so lucky to wake up next to this?” The redhead purred making Brock chuckle throatily as he pulled the man in for a kiss.

“I think you have that the other way around.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes really... “ Brock trailed off as they both chuckled, clearly enamored with one another as they leaned in closer to make out.

“DOCTOR VENTURE!” A loud, shrieking voice sounded, startling the redhead from his thoughts.

He was tied to a chair, amateur hour, in this lame dude's basement and clearly his mind had been elsewhere. He shook his head of the memory and glanced up at the Doc Brown wannabe. “Huh? Oh sorry, I think I nodded off. I tend to do that when my captor is a pathetic copy of a late 80's cartoon villain.”

“W-what?! I... I am not!” The frizzy, white-haired man squeaked as he began to get down from his massive ladder.

He was dressed head to toe in a cliché, white lab coat with long, thick black gloves covering both his arms. The man had somehow been able to ambush him, with the help of his robot no doubt, while he was out and about in his planned shopping trip over at The Grove. This is what he gets for leaving his house.

Professor whatever-his-name-was began stomping over to him with a pinched look. “Now you listen to me, Doctor Venture! I want those plans your father had and you're going to give them to me!”

Rusty cocked an eyebrow at the man. He wasn't the least bit threatening. This was pathetic. “Just what makes you think I have any such plans? I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.”

The man put his hands on his hips and scoffed. “The plans for the cloning! You know what I'm talking about!”

Now, it was the nightclub owner's turn to scoff. Rusty rolled his eyes at the man, beginning to grow annoyed at how long it was taking Brock to come and get him. “Look, I don't know anything about that. My father is dead and I have no interest in cloning or science or whatever the fuck you're on about. Now, I suggest you untie me, crazy, or my husband will surely make you pay.”

“But he's not dead! He's not!” The man began pacing back and forth, talking erratically to himself and gesturing here and there. His robot in the corner may not have been very expressive but even he could tell that the bot was disturbed.

The mad scientist began rushing back over to Rusty who had slowly been undoing the knot that kept his hands secured behind his back. He was just about done with the first one and while normally he would just sit back and wait for Brock to show up, he suspected the man was stuck in traffic.

“I know the secret! I've seen the-the documents!” The man shrieked at him.

“Yeah, okay, believe what you want, crazy! But I don't have any of those plans he had. Why would I?”

“You expect me to believe you threw away such important breakthroughs in science?”

“Uh... yeah! In case you didn't do your research, I have nothing to do with that crap! Do you even know who I am?!”

For the umpteenth time that evening, the wild haired man looked unsure of himself. Clearly, he had not done the research.

“You're like the worst arch I've ever had.” Rusty clicked his tongue in disapproval, still working on the knot in the rope secretly. If only the professor had tied him up instead of his robot assistant, he would've already been loose by now!

Just as the man turned away to look back over his paperwork, a loud shattering of glass sounded in the far corner of the lab signaling that his rescuer was finally there.

Brock landed with an impressive thud on the tile floor, shaking bits of the glass off of his shirt and taking just a moment to straighten his collar once more. He slowly stood up and narrowed his eyes on his prey, the very startled and frightened white-haired professor. 

Brock all but growled and began to chase after the man who began shrieking in terror as he chased him around the lab. Rusty quietly finished undoing the final knots in the rope and let himself free from the chair, giving it one final smirk and roll of his eyes.

“Come here!” His husband growled as his captor tried eluding him by keeping the work bench between them.

“Oh, let him go, Brock! He isn't worth our time anyway.” The redhead said, hands resting on his hips.

The blonde gave him an incredulous look over his shoulder but relented anyway, coming to stand next to him. He gave him a humorous, leveled look. “You just had to go shopping, huh? Today of all days?”

Rusty met the gaze evenly and smirked, shrugging. “I needed things.”

The madman was hovering just beyond the work bench now cowering a bit at the would-be bodyguard's sudden appearance. His robot had simply left the lab, feeling no obligation to protect the scientist.

The redhead looked past his husband to glare at the man. “Look, you lunatic, I have absolutely nothing to do with my father or any of his work, alright? You'd know that if you were any quality level villain.”

“I'm... I'm not a villain.” He mumbled quietly. “I just... need those cloning plans for my research.”

The duo crossed their arms in sync as they both glared at the cowering man.

“No one needs cloning research. What do you need it for? For your health? To... to use on others? You're ridiculous!” Rusty chided the man. “Grow up. Get a real job, a life. Just stop bothering me! Please!”

With that, the man turned to leave, expecting Brock to follow him out. As they exited, the man shot him an amused look. “You think those weirdos will ever give it a rest?”

“You mean stop kidnapping me? Hardly. My father's “important” research is lusted after by just about every scientist here in the western hemisphere. It'll never settle down.”

They approached their Lambo parked sideways on the street, not exactly parallel parked but it had been an emergency in Brock's eyes.

As the driver and passenger side doors opened, Rusty paused, deep in thought. “That weirdo made me drop all of my things when he put that bag over my head!”

Cocking an eyebrow, Brock just waited on the driver's side for the man to finish his thought.

Rusty clicked his tongue and gave the man a resigned look before climbing inside. “We'll just have to go back!”

Of course.

…

Traffic wasn't so bad heading back down the 405 at this time of night. They were able to get back to The Grove in time before all the shops shut down, Rusty pleased with his haul of clothes and shoes. By the time they got back in the car and began heading home to Calabasas, it was almost 9 o'clock.

“It's getting late and this whole ordeal was a little much. I'm gonna phone White and tell him we're not comin' in.” Brock said, steering a little uneasily as he fumbled with his phone.

Rusty gasped. “What? No way! What am I, eighty? I'm haven't missed a night at the club in like years, Brock!”

“You were kidnapped and held hostage today-”

“I'm perfectly fine and it's not the first time-”

“You're always doin' this, goin' out-”

“It's not like I'm delicate-”

The two continued bickering and talking over each other until the blonde finally sighed exasperated and the conversation came to a lull.

There was silence in the air inside the Lamborghini until Brock finally side eyed his husband. “Look, maybe I just want to spend a quiet night in with my man after he was just abducted in the middle of Los Angeles in broad daylight. Call me crazy, but it unnerves me.”

Rusty grinned at the man, touched by his concern. “Aww... you were worried about me!”

Brock said nothing, keeping his eyes on the road in front of them.

“I was fine though. He was... a silly, little man. Delusional.”

And Brock said nothing, just staring ahead.

Rusty smiled at the man, reaching out to touch his arm and squeeze the top of his thigh affectionately. “I love you, you big lug!”

And then Brock returned the smile, moving his right hand down to hold the other's, squeezing it lovingly. “I love you too.” Then glancing at him more seriously, he continued, “He wasn't so delusional. He knows your dad is still alive.”

The redhead rolled his eyes. “I dunno about that. There are a lot of nutcases out there with their conspiracy theories. I doubt he'll ever be able to make any big impact with that information. Besides, who cares what happens with my father? It has nothing to do with me.” He turned to peer out the passenger side window at all the hills rolling by as they drove.

Brock gently let go of the man's hand and concentrated back on driving as the rounded the corner to their neighborhood's gate. “For now.”

…

The two pulled into their driveway, parking inside their three car garage. Rusty went to collect their various shopping bags from the trunk in the front of the car as Brock went and pushed the intercom button by the door.

“We're back.” He spoke into the mic before turning to help his husband with the shopping bags.

Stepping inside their five bedroom house, they were immediately greeted by the loud, chirpy barks of their dog Scamp running up to them and jumping up and down.

“Hey boy... “ Rusty called down to him affectionately as he set some of the bags on the kitchen bar. Bending down to pet him, he watched as Brock brought in the rest of the bags to set them down there as well.

Sounds of footsteps came thundering down the stairs as their sons Hank and Dean joined them. 

“Pop! Are you alright? What happened?” Dean immediately started in on him with his worrying.

The man smiled at his teen-aged son and gave him a reassuring hug. “It was nothing Dean. Just another scientist.”

Hank looked thoughtful. “And it's because of Grandpa's research? That doesn't have anything to do with you!”

“Well, what are ya gonna do?” The redhead shrugged and began going through the bags of merchandise.

Brock crossed his arms over his chest. “Stop puttin' yerself in danger.”

“I had to get things!” Rusty shot him a look before pulling out various articles of clothing from the bags. “Speaking of which, these are for you boys. I got you some clothes, shoes, Hank you got some jewelry... “ 

The boys looked on with smiles on their faces as their father began handling them things. Brock smiled at the way their faces lighted up.

“Gee, Pop, what's the occasion?” Hank asked, looking over the jerseys he'd been handed.

Rusty just shrugged and smiled at his sons. “Does a father need an occasion to dote on his boys?”

Dean looked at the gold chain Hank had been given and smirked. “Now you'll look just like your style icon!”

Hank scoffed. “Please! Bieber totally stole his look from me!”

“Pop, we're gonna go try this stuff on, okay?” The redheaded teen said, turning to run up the stairs with his brother leaving the two men alone in the kitchen.

“You spoil them.” Brock said, looking down at the man affectionately.

“Maybe. But they deserve it.” The man shrugged, leaning up to peck his husband on the lips before turning to head towards the stairs. “Call White, tell him we're not making it to the club tonight. We're having a... “night in” as it were.”

“You mean movies and chardonnay?” He called over toward him.

“Bingo.”

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: I tried to make this a mix of The Birdcage and really exaggeratedly silliness like we get in season one of Venture Bros. I also mentioned Los Angeles/Calabasas quite a lot as I feel like that's the area they'd end up taking up shop in.


End file.
